speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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