First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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