What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
PANTIES FOUND
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