why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
