Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
