We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
