We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
