can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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