I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
