There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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