there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
