I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
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Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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