He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
vagina is talking i cant
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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