Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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