May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
