Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
