I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Randomize
