He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
At least life still wants to fuck me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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