I just cut my nipple shaving
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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