Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
