I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
