i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
