What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
