he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
