Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize