Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
