He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
