between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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