guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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