Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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