no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize