yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
