Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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