Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
