where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
