I think i peed on brittanys purse
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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