All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
