I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize