I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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