ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
