even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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