lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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