I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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