I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize