That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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