My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
