oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
They took my balls.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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