it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
