Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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