No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
