Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
