I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize