I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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