man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
