Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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