So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
