How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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