I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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