Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
