Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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