some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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