Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My bed smells like the plague
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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