Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
