Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
