youre lurking in front of me
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
