Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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