real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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